Use A Different Page Layout For Each Page
No joke. If you want to make sure no one will ever come back to visit your site again, always use a different layout for each page.Those silly web surfers are so boring and tedious, such stick-in-the-muds that they want to be able to navigate from one page to another to another to another to another without ever changing their navigation pattern. They expect to find links in the same place on each page, so they don't have to think in order to navigate your site.
Well you know what I say to that? Those web surfers are getting way too lazy. Thinking is good, and we should make them think at every opportunity we get. So let's not make it easy for them to navigate our sites. Make it difficult and confusing.
For example, take this site. On every page of this site there's a title at the top of the page. But not on this page. Oh, no. On this page I've moved the title to the side (and even made it vertical text, so it'll be harder to read, which is just one more incentive for visitors to never come back!)
If you've been browsing the pages of this site, you probably know that clicking on the title at the top of the page returns you to the home page of the site. But on this page, clicking on the image doesn't send you back to the home page. No, it sends you to the next piece of advice. You see how annoying and disconcerting that could be?
Heh heh...
Most websites have something called a "navigation bar". This is simply a list of links to help you navigate the site. The list may be vertical, or horizontal, or in a box somewhere. On the boring, tedious sites people keep coming back to, this list of links is always in the same place, and it always has the same links, listed in the same order.
Imagine how much fun it'll be for your visitors if they can never find that navigation bar, and if they can find it, they never know what links they'll find in it.
Now that's a great way to lose traffic!
